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Pope Releases List of Approved Tattoos
By Chuck - Sun, Aug 23, 2009

Some Tattoos Are Okay, Pope Says

Some Tattoos Are Okay, Pope Says

Rome, Italy (UPI) Pope John Paul II, in a Wednesday release that stunned both members and observers of the Catholic church, classified several tattoos and tattoo themes as "acceptable" for Catholics to adorn their bodies.

The 82-year old Pontiff has been toying with the idea for years, advisors admitted, as the church struggles with declining membership and various image problems. "This was not a knee-jerk reaction by any means," stated Cardinal Richard Wojchiehowski of Cleveland, OH. "The Pope gave this long and critical thought," he added.

Priests and nuns will be allowed, of course, to add tattoos to their bodies under the new, relaxed standards. "The tattoo has always been regarded as desecration of the body that God gave us, a harmful reminder that Satan tempts us to change and turn away from God," Wojchiehowski said. "But the right tattoo is a good tattoo, and that can bring us closer to ourselves and each other," he said.

Some of the approved tattoos are:

  • "Mother" - an endearing and righteous tribute to the giver of life.
  • "Born To Raise Heaven" - a new twist on its famous opposite, may actually become a requirement for all priests.
  • Pictures of flowers - all are acceptable as stand alone designs, but any clenched in the teeth of naked or near naked women are not approved.
  • Names of mates - only allowed if the wearer is married to the person named.
  • Road Runner - a classic in every social circle, and soon to be worn and admired by Catholics everywhere. Pope John Paul II noted the Road Runner's "forgiving ways and consistent, unwavering good nature" as the reasons for its inclusion here.
  • "U2" - the Irish rock and roll band is becoming increasingly involved in world politics on and off the stage, and John Paul II likes what they say and do. The name "Bono" and any likeness of him are also on the list.

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