"The young man wears his heart on his shoulders." --ESPN Analyst and former Ravens' linebacker Ray Lewis, referring to Adrian Peterson. Ray, you dumbass, the saying is "heart on his sleeve." - Anonymous

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ChuckAndCletus.com is a Humor-oriented site featuring Fake Satire News, Funny Pictures and Photos, Commentary, etc. all centered around helping you waste time in the most efficient, stupid way possible on the internet. Nothing here should be taken too seriously unless you're either a prick or just have nothing else better to do. In either case, go away; we've been sued enough.

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Drones Commanded By Pre-Pubescent Gamers?
By Cletus - Mon, Mar 24, 2003

Manassas, VA (Reuters) - During the month of August 2002, Purple Hurricane Media held a contest to find the best fighter pilot of their smash video game, Death Drone. Five finalists survived the 2-week "boot camp" and emerged as the cream of the crop.

Just one week ago, the Fab Five were called into game headquarters to participate in a "revival tournament" with the grand prize being a 5-year subscription to Gamer's Paradise and a lifetime pass to Trek World.

At approximately 8pm EST on Wednesday, March 19 the International Retaliation And Quest Invitational began. "Operation I.R.A.Q.I." as it's referred to by company officials and insiders is said to be the Mother of all gaming tournaments.

Reporters have tried to gain access to the teens but have been denied, with company spokesmen stating, "Tournaments like this can take days, even weeks, when the participants are as talented as the Fab Five. They must be left alone to finish just as if this were all a real mission."

One of the youngster's moms has complained that "they won't let us see our boys. My Timmy needs his asthma medicine!" Disgruntled and worried parents have been dropping off homework assignments and clean socks to company officials daily. chuckandcletus.com will report the tournament results of Operation I.R.A.Q.I. as soon as they are available.

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Report: Sandwich Misses People

older stories

Bolingbrook, IL (AP) - Worldwide hamburger giant McDonald's Corporation, in reviving the revered, unique, and flavorful McRib sandwich for a limited time only, announced that the sandwich has, in fact, missed its consumers.


Explosions Heard In Baghdad

newer stories

Baghdad, Iraq (AP) - Sometime during the night, Iraqi officials reported to the Associated Press and Iraqi state television that explosions were heard in the vicinity of Baghdad, the capitol city of Iraq.

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