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Local Cheese Stored Improperly
By Chuck - Thu, Jan 24, 2013

The Cheese Stands Alone

The Cheese Stands Alone

Saxapahaw, NC (Associated Press) A report of a cheese being stored improperly surfaced earlier this evening in a sleepy central North Carolina town, according to a local resident.

The cheese, which was originally sold as an eight-ounce portion of Colby jack, was missing “about thirty percent of the original amount” according to its owner, Brandi Soda, before it was placed in a one-gallon double zipper storage bag by Jessi Stonecutter at some point in the last few days.

The bag, which is suitable for storing a pair of lumberjack’s boots, was one of four or five sizes available in the home, according to Soda, most of which “would have been far more appropriate,” she added. “I even have some with cute little lions on them,” Soda stated.

This was not the first time a zipper storage bag had been misused in the household, either. “One time she (Stonecutter) got the bread caught in the zipper because the sandwich was too big,” Soda recalled. It is not clear whether the damaged sandwich was eventually eaten or discarded.

Soda said she is no stranger to misusing the bags herself. “Sometimes you realize the bag isn’t big enough, so you put the whole thing in another bag so you don’t feel like you’ve wasted the bag.”

Local authorities would neither confirm nor deny that they have been called to the premises regarding any of the earlier storage related disputes.

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“Matty Twice” Hands Game To 49ers

older stories

Atlanta, GA (Associated Press)The oddly-celebrated quarterback of the Atlanta Falcons, Matt Ryan, committed two turnovers in the Falcons’ defeat in the NFC Championship game Sunday.


The Most-Robbed Contestants of 'American Idol' Season 12

newer stories

"American Idol" Season 12 is at long last limping to its May 16 finish line, and while either Kree Harrison or Candice Glover will make a fine winner, there are many shocked people out there who think third-place finalist Angie Miller was robbed.

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