Clouded But Not Forgotten
Madison, IN (Associated Press) A work crew works as a crew to replace the bust of George Washington which was stolen from Mt. Rushmore earlier in the month and recovered here in Madison, Indiana, six days later.
Officials in whatever Dakota had decided to keep the theft quiet in order to avoid revealing details that might otherwise compromise the investigation, officials revealed today. Visitors to Mt. Rushmore since the theft had been witnesses to artificially constructed cloud masses that obscured all of the mountain face during daylight hours, park officials admitted.
"We used artificially constructed cloud masses to obscure the mountain face during daylight hours in order to avoid revealing details that that might otherwise compromise the investigation," a park official admitted. "We needed G-Dubs back, and cooperated with various law enforcement agencies to make that happen." .
Early leads in the investigation had pointed toward Pittsburgh Steelers' quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who has recently been reported as trying to get a lot of head, but suspicions reached a dead end when the head was tracked well south of the Pittsburgh area..
Efforts to transport the bust back to hmm Dakota will receive top priority, including the likelihood that interstate highways may be closed to facilitate the transfer, according to the National Parks' little known policy that stolen national park stuff be returned even if it means closing interstates to facilitate transfers.
Garvis Opens For Gert Jonnys
New York, NY (Reuters) - The much anticipated reunion tour of Gert Jonnys, Sweden's premiere 70s boy band, will have another Swedish reunion band opening for them, Garvis. The two bands disappeared off the scene when the synthesizers of the 80s hit, just as they were poised to take the international market.
Local Elementary School Visits Pot Field
Asheville, NC (AP) - This past Friday, Mrs. Peabody's fourth grade class at Oakley Elementary School took a field trip to an undisclosed pot facility in the mountains surrounding Asheville, NC. The children were excited to go and for many, it was their first encounter with cannabis.