"The young man wears his heart on his shoulders." --ESPN Analyst and former Ravens' linebacker Ray Lewis, referring to Adrian Peterson. Ray, you dumbass, the saying is "heart on his sleeve." - Anonymous

Chuck & Cletus Random Video


7,258,715 Total Page Views Since Sep 11, 2009
371 views today, 11 People on the Site NOW


Branch Fired By ESPN For Comment During Game

Depression Merely A State Of Mind, Researchers Say

R2-D2 Holding Out For Bigger Payday In Star Wars Finale

Reid Steps Down As Coach Of Chiefs


ChuckAndCletus.com is a Humor-oriented site featuring Fake Satire News, Funny Pictures and Photos, Commentary, etc. all centered around helping you waste time in the most efficient, stupid way possible on the internet. Nothing here should be taken too seriously unless you're either a prick or just have nothing else better to do. In either case, go away; we've been sued enough.

Really stupid funny pictures, photos, satire, commentary, news,
Quicker Picker Upper Unseated
By Chuck - Sun, Dec 22, 2002

Quicker Picker Upper?

Quicker Picker Upper?

Albuquerque, NM (AP) - Bounty Paper Towels, long purported to be The Quicker Picker Upper, has now been relegated to The Quick Picker Upper based on measured performances in recent testing by an independent laboratory.

Brawny, with its thirsty two-ply structure containing ?micro-beds? of absorbent pockets, became the new number two paper towel according to tests completed recently by Quality Measurements Inc. based in Albuquerque. ?The examinations were stringent, the results fair and consistent?Bounty is now number three,? stated Ian McDevlin, Director of Testing and Stuff at the largest lab of its type in the western world.

The number one paper towel remains the Kroger KitchenMaid, available only through Kroger Food stores located throughout the eastern United States and upper midwest. The KitchenMaid towel has been The Quickest Picker Upper since 1984.

One sheet of the Kroger flagship paper towel successfully absorbed 176 milliliters of water in the twenty seconds alloted for the exercise, according to McDevlin. Brawny topped out at 161 milliliters, while Bounty absorbed 156 ml.

Rated 2.97/5 (346 Votes)


older stories


Hewlett-Packard To Introduce FoodJet 2000

newer stories

Palo Alto, CA (Associated Press) U.S. computer giant Hewlett-Packard is poised to release the latest in its long line of printers early in 2003, finally bridging the gap between bytes and bites.

Satire We Wrote - Funny Photos - Pirated Comics - Stuff Fer Sale - Commentary - About US - admin
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner. The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © by me, Sandra Dee, Chuck, Cletus and Cecil.
Only 3 small animals were hurt while building the site, 2 of which were crushed under Chuck's truck. We are not responsible for anything written when Cecil's been drinking.

Database Design and Site Development by RCG - © Copyright 2022