Alberta, Canada (UPI) - Brent Foddard of Alberta, Canada, has always dreamed of being number one. Number one with his girlfriend. Number one in Madden Football. And number one in Moose Racing.
But this year, his dream was thwarted once again.
The Fourth Annual Alberta Moose Dash was not won by Brent Foddard. In fact, he didn't even finish, just like the three previous years.
In the Annual Dash, contestants must don their rides and race five miles through dense forest during hunting season. "It's a difficult race," states an anonymous official, "made especially so by the fact we don't advertise where it's held."
Foddard's ride, Bully Winkle, was downed by a 300 Winchester Magnum, fired by local butcher, Ralph Flanders. "That was nothing," Foddard said. "Last year it took a .375 H&H. Now that's a bad mother of a gun."
"Dammit, I thought this would be the year," the thirteen year old stated after race officials rolled his ride off of him. "I guess I'll just have to train harder now."
Next year's race is rumored to be held for the first time in the United States, possibly in Minnesota.
Man Discovers Internet Porn
Leisure Village, NJ (AP) - In a shocking discovery, yesterday, Fareed Ranjan, of Leisure Village, New Jersey, accidentally clicked on what appeared to be an innocent ad for teeth whitening. But instead of seeing a site designed to sell dental products, Ranjan was treated to more than just a set of pearly whites.
Curling Entices Olympic Hopefuls
Phelps, WI (AP) - Bobby Joe and Bradford Lee Johnson of Phelps, Wisconsin, have announced their intention to make the Olympics in 2014 in the honorable sport of Curling.