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Dennis Miller To Seek Own Football League
By Chuck - Sun, Dec 22, 2002

Miller In Happier Times

Miller In Happier Times

Los Angeles, CA (Associated Press) Comedian and former Monday Night Football analyst Dennis Miller is rumored to be seeking the creation of his own football league so that he may return to his love of announcing the game.

Sources close to the HBO stalwart and former Saturday Night Live Weekend Update host say that he took the MNF parting "hard" and has longed to call the game as he did for the nineteen week season last year for ABC. "Dennis considered it some of his greatest and most enjoyable work," said friend Ernesto Constantine, who admitted he rarely knew what Miller was talking about.

"It was the most fun I can recall him having," said Carol Wimler, Miller's agent and confidant. "He couldn't wait to travel to the next city, meet the players and coaches, and then ply his trade for three straight hours on national television," she added.

Miller's style was hardly conversational, however, and far less sports-oriented than it was both popular and obscure cultural references that reached few and alienated many. Websites popped up that tracked his dialog and interpreted it for the masses who cared enough to pursue clarification. His boothmates, Dan Fouts and Al Michaels, were equally perplexed at Miller's distant associations and scholarly wordplay and frequently answered with a broadcaster's nightmare--dead air.

Speculation, however, is that Miller is befriending pop icon Michael Jackson and film star Harrison Ford in an attempt to provide funding for a six to eight team league of paid professionals that would play football using mostly NFL rules and regulations. The teams would be named by Miller and placed in metropolitan areas where Miller's HBO shows have historically received their highest ratings.

Players, too, according to sources, might undergo name changes in order to support jokes and wisecracks that the sardonic Miller would unleash during play, a la Chris Berman of ESPN. Coaches would have to agree to brutal interviews that would make Miller appear correct no matter what he purports, despite the fact that he has never played the game.

"It could work," claims UPN president Charles DeLarno, "because Americans are becoming increasingly disenchanted with the news, the truth, and sports with all of its unpredictable and uncertain outcomes. Look at the success of professional wrestling," he added.

DeLarno's fledgling network is said to be interested in the league, providing Miller with the momentum to pitch the idea even harder to prospective investors, potential players and coaches, and to cities and stadium owners.

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Hewlett-Packard To Introduce FoodJet 2000

newer stories

Palo Alto, CA (Associated Press) U.S. computer giant Hewlett-Packard is poised to release the latest in its long line of printers early in 2003, finally bridging the gap between bytes and bites.

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